How to tell if you’re watching too much lacrosse

During NLL season, I watch a lot of lacrosse. Before scheduling things on a weekend, my wife routinely checks with me to see when the games are. It’s not mandatory that I watch all of them, but I try to watch as many as I can. On the other hand, I’ve been a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs my entire life, and yet I’ve seen pieces of maybe 3 or 4 Leaf games this season on TV. I don’t think I’ve watched an entire game from beginning to end.

It’s possible that I’m watching too much lacrosse.

If you suspect you have the same problem, here’s a handy checklist. If you recognize these symptoms just remember, admitting you have a problem is the first step.

You may watch too much lacrosse if:

  • You see 6-5 as the final score of a hockey game and think that both goalies must have been outstanding.
  • Watching a live sporting event from Monday-Thursday seems weird.
  • You say things like “that tranny is really good at grabbing loose balls” and think nothing of it.
  • You think of Brian Shanahan as “Shanny” and Brendan as “Shanny’s brother”, not the other way around.
  • You watch a hockey game on TV and wonder why the announcers are not explaining the rules as they go.
  • A defenseman scoring a hat-trick in a game raises your eyebrows a little, but not much.
  • The idea of a player missing games or even entire seasons because they couldn’t get time off from work is not unusual to you.
  • You think it’s weird how hockey defensemen stay out on the ice even when their team has the puck.
  • In an NHL game, you see someone score a goal while his foot is in the crease and wonder why nobody’s yelling about it, except that guy over there from Buffalo.
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