Phone rings

Curt Styres: Hello?
John Arlotta: Hi Curt, John Arlotta here, down in Georgia. How’re things up in Rochester?
Styres: Fine.
Arlotta: That’s great. Listen, we’ve only got an hour until the trade deadline. The Swarm are not currently in a playoff position so you know, we gotta do something. Also, I noticed that Cory Vitarelli seems to be hurt so you guys might be looking for a little bit more offense. I think maybe we can help each other.
Styres: OK.
Arlotta: Tell ya what. We’ll send you Josh Gillam for, say, a first round pick?
Styres: Dreaming.
Arlotta: Well, maybe that was a bit optimistic. What if we give you Gillam and Joe Maracle?
Styres: Nope.
Arlotta: What if we add in <shuffling papers> Randy Staa—OW! Ed, what’d you do that for? He’s a rookie? Oh. Sorry Curt, never mind that last idea. How about Gillam and Maracle for a couple of second round picks?
Styres: Third.
Arlotta: A second and a third? <mini-fist pump> OK, you drive a hard bargain, but we’ll call that a deal. Thanks man, but I have a couple of other calls to make so I’ll get my assistant to give you a call back to finalize things. See ya Curt! Nice talkin’ to ya.
Styres: Bye.

Phone rings

Steve Dietrich: Hello?
Arlotta: Hey Steve, John Arlotta calling.
Dietrich: If the word “Dhane” even comes out of your mouth, I’m hanging up.
Arlotta: No no no, I’m not after Dha… uh, him. Listen I was talking to a couple of my players, I don’t want to disclose any names you understand, but they were talking about this guy you’ve got on your roster but isn’t getting much playing time, and they thought maybe he might be a good fit with them.
Dietrich: Jerome, right?
Arlotta: Yeah, actually! You nailed it!
Dietrich: OK, so who are you thinking you’d send my way?
Arlotta: Well, <sniff> I just strongarmed a deal with Curt Styres and I have one other phone call to make, so I’m actually pretty happy with my roster right now, at least once we add Jerome in. So I was hoping a draft pick.
Dietrich: So Jerome and a draft pick for who?
Arlotta: No, you send us Jerome and we’ll send you a draft pick.
Dietrich: <silence>
Arlotta: Steve? You still there?
Dietrich: You’re sending me a draft pick?
Arlotta: Yeah, in exchange for Jerome Thompson. He’s not playing much right now so I’m thinking sixth round?
Dietrich: You are sending me a draft pick?
Arlotta: That’s the deal so far, is that OK?
Dietrich: Yeah, just let me confirm. I’m sending you Jerome Thompson and you’re sending me a sixth round draft pick? And I’m not sending you any draft picks? At all?
Arlotta: Yup, that’s it.
Dietrich: Ohhhhhh….kaaaaay.
Arlotta: Great! Listen Steve, love to chat but I have one more call to make so I gotta run.
Dietrich: Um, OK, bye John.

Phone rings

Derek Keenan: Hello?
Arlotta: Hey Derek, it’s John Arlotta. I was wondering if –
Keenan: No. <hangs up>